yourself in a pithy, entertaining profile and choose potential dates
from similar personality slices presented to you. Even for a
generation who has spent most or all of its adult life on social
media, the stakes (finding love) seem even higher. And if you're a
woman over 30, you've got to contend with anxieties over finding
someone more permanent, who matches your life goals, who is interested
in you beyond any baggage you might have picked up over the years.
Dating and relationship coach Ravid Yosef—whose online course
Determined to Love —shares over 30 online dating tips for keeping a
positive (but firm) attitude, as well as insights into creating a
clickable profile and when to go from messaging to meeting in the
flesh.
General Things to Keep in Mind
*.Date with a purpose. This is a major consideration that separates
how women in their 30s online date versus women in their 20s, Yosef
says. Women looking for a specific result should ask themselves key
questions: "What is their overall vision (the life they want to live)?
What is their short term goal (getting married or hooking up)? How are
they going to achieve this?"
*.It's a numbers game. With the ease and accessibility of online
dating, the truth is that everyone is going on lots of dates. "[Women
should] go on as many dates as they can," Yosef says. "Set a goal for
that. And be sure not to get frustrated by bad dates. Every date is an
opportunity to learn."Putting Together Your Profile
*.Include your must-haves. "It's important to think about what who you
are and what you want in a relationship when you write your profile,"
Yosef explains. "If there are things you feel are your must-haves, put
them in there (i.e., kids/family, active lifestyle, vegan, etc.). If
there are hobbies you want to share with your partner, talk about them
passionately in your profile. This will help to attract people with
common interests, and pause those who may not be looking for someone
who wants what you want."
*.Avoid aggressive wording. Yosef advises against talking about your
must-haves with phrases like "I want this" or "I don't want that." She
goes on to say, "Tell a story and talk about your passions in a
positive way. That should convey your wants and needs properly."
*.You can put a positive spin on anything. "For instance," Yosef says,
"you're not a workaholic, you're just passionate about your work. You
don't hate the fact that you have to online date, you're excited about
the prospect of meeting new people."
*.Variety is key with photos. "You need more than selfies," Yosef
says. "Have some full-body pictures, and use unfiltered pictures as
much as possible. If you have pictures doing the things you speak
passionately about, that's a bonus."Choosing Who to Message
*.Don't get hung up on minor things. Also, note the wording–women in
their 30s can't wait around for men to message them first. "You need
to be in tune with your gut here," Yosef says. "Take a look at their
profile and see what your gut says before your mind starts saying
'but.' If he seems like a nice guy and you have some things in common,
but he's not as tall as you would like, message him."
*.Think about the bigger picture. "If he seems like the type of guy
you want to end up with, but that's not your usual type, for God's
sake, message him."Moving from Messaging to Meeting In-Person
*.Yosef stresses that people should meet "as quickly as possible. The
longer you wait, the more likely you are to create a false sense of
connection. Studies have proven that the longer you wait, the more
disappointed you are in the person because you've hyped them up in
your head. You should graduate from message to text within 3-5
messages, and to phone or meet-up in 10."How to Approach Every Date
*."Have fun!" Yosef says. "Don't put so much pressure on yourself.
Enjoy the process of not only getting to know new people, but getting
to know yourself."
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